Alien found in Boyertown!
Many people have come up with their own conspiracy theories about aliens, but there has never been an alien seen in broad daylight. On February 12th, 2020 in Boyertown, PA the NBC News reported that a student named Jianna Anderson was walking home from school when she noticed she smelled oranges. She said “I looked at all the students around me to see if anyone sprayed perfume, but no one did. Then all of the sudden I heard someone fart in front of me, it was one of my classmates, Anj White. I laughed at Anj saying and told her that her fart smelt like oranges but then, Anj turned around and made a high pitch dog whistle noise instead of laughing.” Jianna says that Anj looked as if she was confused when it happened.
Jianna then shares that she ran as fast as she could back to the school and ran into the school security guard and told him to call 911. About 10 minutes later, the cops show up and tell Jianna to keep the situation to herself, but she already posted about it on Snapchat. About 2 hours later, she sees that many people have reposted her story saying they have seen strange things like that too.
The NBC News also reported that, “Everyone must stay inside until further notice.” They then listed the symptoms of what an Alien would have which was “Flatulence (farting) that smells like oranges, hair stands up due to the static electricity from their brain, high pitched dog whistle noise coming from the mouth, and if the tips of the fingers turn green due to their blood not being used to Earth.”
Joe Biden has now told people to, “Wear Nike hoodies, tape gummy bears to the forehead, and paint all fingernails a bright pink color, as all of these things will cause aliens to stay away.” He also said on a live NBC News broadcast that he “will be sending out kits with a nike gift card, gummy bears, tape, and pink nail polish.”
Since then, there have been over 38,000 aliens caught worldwide, and are now being kept at local colleges for the students to dissect and study. The CDC recommends staying updated with NBC News, to follow Biden’s instructions, and ordering a kit immediately. According to the BASH Cub, Boyertown High School will be requiring these kits in order to attend school.
With the Aliens being tested more each day, the CDC told NBC News on February 28th that, “We are trying to make a vaccine available before the beginning of summer.” Also that day, the news showed Biden broadcasting live saying that these vaccines will be mandatory once the CDC passes them and will be provided for free.
Note: All events are in fact fake.