Do you know what really gets on my nerves? When people tell me that I am too old to trick or treat on halloween. You know what? I don’t care, Halloween is my favorite holiday, and I look forward to it every year. Why should I have to forfeit my favorite past time just because technically I’m an adult now? Don’t answer that.

But seriously, it is beyond depressing when someone plans a party on Halloween night. Like, who do you think you are? The president? That’s like planning a funeral on Christmas eve. I’m not going to compromise my one-way ticket on the diabetes train for your party.

Don’t get me wrong, I love halloween parties. Actually, they are my favorite kind of party. I skipped my birthday in June just so I could throw a halloween party in October. So, if you want to have a party, thats great; just don’t expect me to show up on Halloween night. I’ll be stocking up on KitKats for the winter.

So, on the topic of Halloween, I just wanted to bring up some other traditions people seem to like. Haunted attractions like the Eastern State Penitentiary and Dorney Park’s Halloween Haunt are great if you are looking for a thrill. Personally, it takes a lot to really scare me and I love it when I find something that makes me really fear for my life. When I feel the need to run, I know I’m having a good time. But it is so annoying when people who are paid to be scary in these attractions just stand there or limp around. Seriously people! This is the one time you get to be as creepy and loud as you want, and people will think it’s awesome! There is nothing scary about mopey-faced people wandering aimlessly. Believe me, I see THAT every morning. It is your job, so if you are working at one of these places, bring me to my wits end with fear. People who walk through these things want to be scared. Get up in my face and scream, chase after the weak ones, and make them frantically search for the exit. Make it real and make it scary. I didn’t pay $45 bucks for suspense, people!

Regardless of whether or not you are going trick or treating,  still have to figure out some kind of costume to wear. This has to be my favorite part of this time of year, and yet I never can seem to decide on what to be until the last minute. I’m not kidding when I say this. For the past few years, I have waited until 5 o’clock on Halloween to finally pull some scraps together and go as a tattered piece of fabric.

“Oh look, here comes that table cloth guy again. Isn’t he a little old for this?”

I really wish I weren’t too old for this…

Anyway, every year we all know what to expect. It doesn’t matter how cold it is, or how hard it is raining, there will always be that group of girls who are wearing far too little clothing. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with that. I mean, do what you want to do, but you are going to freeze your butt off! But it isn’t really a girl’s fault for dressing that way. If she doesn’t have time to make her own costume, most stores have only a few different options, such as “The Lady Sheriff” costume — comes with two Gold Badges and handcuffs… Okay, so that is a little exaggerated, but you get the idea. Shout out to the girls who don’t care what people think and go out dressed as a crayon.

Halloween only happens once a year (if you are the average person) and it is the only time when you can do anything he or she wants to do and nothing is too crazy!

It doesn’t matter what you do, but make sure it is awesome!

Farewell and Happy Halloween!