Many people have said that people nowadays don’t know how to date, but how much of a difference is there between generations?
As the years go by, dating culture is bound to change. Those of older generations have said that people in this day and age don’t know how to date properly and things were better back when they were young. Today’s younger generations tend to prefer the new style of dating that comes with social media and matchmaking apps. Of course, both styles have their pros and cons, and dating has changed a lot in the past 100 years.
The tradition of dating didn’t begin until the beginning of the 20th century. Before that, relationships were more private and unemotional. Women and their parents met with several men to find a suitable pick for marriage, which relied highly on wealth and social status. Once a man was chosen, the couple only participated in activities together in the household or at social gatherings rather than going on dates.
This method of finding a partner continued until the early 1900s when couples began to go out together unsupervised, but the ending goal was still marriage. This began the tradition of “gentleman calling,” which is a protocol men used when they were interested in women. The man would go to the woman’s house and hopefully be let in; if he succeeded in doing so, then was asked to return on multiple occasions, he would be free to call upon the women at specific hours set by her parents.
Gentleman calling culture went out of style by the mid-1920s, being replaced by dating and changing the dynamic between men and women. Men would pay for the dates while women decided the terms of the date. With the introduction of dating, courtship became much less common and people became more focused on falling in love. Before dating, people wouldn’t find love as the important part of a marriage, but the desire for romance and love increased greatly once the idea of dating came to be. Couples began considering their love for each other before even discussing marriage, and themes of love began to grow in popularity.
Works of fiction took on themes of romance and articles began writing about how respect, reciprocity, and romance were the three r’s of a good and healthy marriage. Couples began writing love letters to each other, whereas beforehand any letters exchanged between partners focused on practical matters. The desire to rise in social status through marriage declined and the need to find a favorable partner increased.
By the 1950s, the term “going steady” was used to say a couple was in an exclusive relationship. People publicized their relationship by having the man give the woman an article of clothing to wear, such as jackets and sweaters. Dating became more of a youth culture than family expectations and was about standing out amongst others. When the 70s came around, there were no distinct “rules” of dating. Young people did what they wanted when they wanted to, thus beginning modern dating culture.
Matchmaking services were the next big step in changing the dating game. In 1965, two Harvard students started “Operation Match” to make dating easier, beginning the tradition of using matchmaking services to find that special someone. Once the internet became available in 1991, online dating sites started to emerge.
This brings us to modern day dating where most dating is initiated through a dating app. While many people today believe this is the solution to their dating problems, there are still some who prefer older styles of dating without modern technology and dating to marry rather than today’s modern “hook-up” culture. The question still stands though of which form of dating works best, and that question may be open for interpretation for a long time.
